Old Age

Funny thing happened at the eye doctor today. I went in for my annual check up so I could get a refill on my contacts and mentioned that I wasn't seeing as clear close up. I just figured it was because I'm in my forties and that I would need bifocals.

After a thorough exam including dilation drops, the doctor pronounced, "You're eyes have gotten better. I don't see a need for glasses or contacts."

What? Did I hear him right? No glasses or contacts? Hallelujah!!

I feel much younger!!

Who am I?

I have been feeling very negative and depressed lately. I feel like all I do is complain and feel stressed and unhappy. So it's time for a reality check.

In performing this check, I went back and read some of my earlier posts. I was very happy to see that most of them are very positive. That's a relief because I have always thought that I was a happy, positive person.

I also have always thought that I was an independent person. I think that is true since I packed the U-Haul 15 years ago and moved from Iowa to Utah without a job and only a little savings. Maybe I was just too stupid to know any better. Fortunately the move worked out well.

However, in the absence of Matt, I don't feel very independent or positive. Mostly, I feel lonely and overwhelmed. I am still capable of accomplishing many things - like mowing the lawn for the first time ever in my life (Can you believe that?) and taking care of a 23,000 gallon pool. But I don't like being the one to make ALL the decisions.

How did I come to this? I really don't know, but it's time to start counting blessings. I will work on that.



I almost feel better just getting that off my chest.

I didn't sign up for this.

Remember the carefree days of being single and going to the movies when you wanted? or not doing the dishes for 3 days because you still had some that were clean? or just ordering pizza and eating it directly out of the box because there weren't any clean dishes? or sleeping in?

Well, it's not like that now. Now, meals must be cooked, dishes and laundry need to be done daily, piano lessons and dance still happen every week. And don't forget church obligations or grocery shopping.

Now add pool and yard duty.

I'm tired.

And I miss Matt.

That was then . . .

Last summer, Matt stayed home when school ended. We had a blast!!

This is now . . .

This summer, Matt is in Southern California doing an internship with Toyota. The girls and I are still in Utah.

Can we go back?