Who am I?

I have been feeling very negative and depressed lately. I feel like all I do is complain and feel stressed and unhappy. So it's time for a reality check.

In performing this check, I went back and read some of my earlier posts. I was very happy to see that most of them are very positive. That's a relief because I have always thought that I was a happy, positive person.

I also have always thought that I was an independent person. I think that is true since I packed the U-Haul 15 years ago and moved from Iowa to Utah without a job and only a little savings. Maybe I was just too stupid to know any better. Fortunately the move worked out well.

However, in the absence of Matt, I don't feel very independent or positive. Mostly, I feel lonely and overwhelmed. I am still capable of accomplishing many things - like mowing the lawn for the first time ever in my life (Can you believe that?) and taking care of a 23,000 gallon pool. But I don't like being the one to make ALL the decisions.

How did I come to this? I really don't know, but it's time to start counting blessings. I will work on that.



I almost feel better just getting that off my chest.